Apparently Prince William is getting married to Kate Thingummy. I think I caught a subtle and tasteful announcement about that on one of the television news broadcasts yesterday. The media are almost wetting their pants with excited anticipation over the wedding. I can honestly say I am genuinely unmoved in every and any possible way.
I used to be vehemently anti-royalist. Such news a few years ago would have sent me reaching for the "off" button on the remote control as I frothed at the mouth and swore about the over privileged lifestyles of the elite. However, I had to rethink my beliefs as it actually occurred to me: if I was so anti-royalist, what would I do about them? I'm British, and the idea of lining people up against a wall in a cellar and shooting them doesn't sit well with me. Nor, for that matter, am I any good at embracing the concept of change. (I finally got settled into secondary school and all of a sudden I had to go to university.) Who or what would replace the Queen as figurehead of the Commonwealth? It would certainly make a good series of The X-Factor...
So I relaxed into a routine of total and utter indifference to the royal family. Mohammed al Fayed could benefit from a similar attitude.
To me, the royal family are just there, like vanilla ice cream or the weather. I don't know them, they don't know me. It's not like they're a friend of a friend and I might have to send them a wedding present. The royals are apolitical, have no tangible influence on anything and basically live in a bubble of advantage that they have reached by nothing other than an accident of birth. Neither my immediate, nor my wider world will be rocked in any way by the implications of this engagement. Although I might pop out for a walk when the royal wedding is on.
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